If you are reading my gardening blog for the first time… this is a series on how I became a homemaker and began working on a better garden and retreat at home.
The story goes on…
Danny was reading a book by Zig Ziglar, called Courtship After Marriage. He was also reading through the Bible. I was impressed.
We began to date. I would meet him at his apartment on Friday and off we would go. At first it was awkward, and I dreaded for Friday to come. Danny began to put into practice the things he was learning from the courtship book, and soon I was actually looking forward to our date nights. We dated all summer.
I was still working every weekend, and one day during the week, finishing up our son’s last year of home school, and getting him ready for college. Our daughter was in her final year of college. I took our son to college in August and went back to an empty house.
Our courtship continued. In early September, I had Thyroid surgery, due to struggles with an autoimmune disease that caused an overgrowth of the thyroid. Danny took me to the hospital, waited through my surgery and helped me to get settled back in at home.
In mid-September, for our anniversary, we took a trip to Ohio, to visit the Amish country. I love the peace that surrounds these people as they live their simple lifestyles and have always longed for that kind of life, minus the no makeup and severe hairstyles. 🙂
Danny and I were enjoying each other, and it felt once more like it had when we were young, in love, and dating, prior to marriage. The Ohio trip was great. Danny had arranged it all. He had taken the lead.
On that trip we began to talk more about Danny moving back home. I was ready, he wanted to wait a while. One thing that has been consistent about Danny during our entire marriage is… he never rushes anything. He is slow and methodical. I am the opposite. I jump in before I am ready and then want to jump back out. He knew that and was trying to hold me off a while longer, to make sure we had grown and changed our behavior enough to make our marriage work.
By October, we both agreed it was time. I had talked and prodded until I got my way. I thought I was ready, and that God had dealt with me enough to make me ready to handle married life once more. Danny moved back in. I put the house back in both our names.
At first we were cautious with each other and tried our best, relying on our own abilities, to maintain a peaceful marriage. It wasn’t long before we started to fall back into the same patterns that had caused the separation in the first place. When we started to repeat behavior that we both thought we had left behind, I was overcome each time with fear and I saw that fear mirrored in Danny’s face.
Out of fear, we tried to put reigns on our behavior and pull it to a stop. Sometimes we were able to get control, other times… not so much. We were struggling once again.
I have prayed for our marriage for years and still continue to pray. One thing I can tell you about prayer is that God does answer it, but not always today. Sometimes He answers it… after many years.
We plodded along, and then something happened that devastated us both.
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.” Psalm 103:8